Critical Feedback Problem

I’m often asked what I think is the main factor in determining the success or failure of transformation projects.

You might expect someone in my line of work to say it’s something to do with how well the needs, desires and expectations of target audiences are understood and met. Or that the internal team structure and operating model is the key.

Of course the truth is that it takes a combination of facets working in concert to deliver something greater than the sum of their parts, but I’ve realised there is a fundamental component that separates the big winners from the also-rans.

What is it?

A common problem I’ve seen, in particular when working with scale-ups, is an inability to give appropriate feedback… or rather, to give feedback appropriately.

At the end of a project, or at key milestones, it’s common practice to have a debrief. What went well, what didn’t go so well, what we’d do differently next time. 

It’s a well-intended exercise, designed to help the next project or the next phase of work be more efficient and effective than the last.

But in practice, it’s not always terribly useful.

The things that get discussed are often the obvious issues that everyone is already aware of, and a lot of the time, those issues are attributed to circumstances beyond the team’s control. To a degree, I get it. If these sessions dipped below the surface with a genuine desire to identify areas for improvement, it could feel like an exercise in pointing the finger of blame. 

Too often, development points are either diluted and delivered in a way that doesn’t even register - so afraid are we of offending or upsetting someone or coming across as mean in front of our colleagues - or they’re delivered so harshly that the repercussions have the opposite effect to the one desired, serving only to demotivate people into paralysing self-doubt.

So if there were one thing I’d suggest every organisation prioritise in terms of skills development, it’s how to give and receive constructive feedback.

Handle with care

Giving feedback is a skill. An important one. It takes practice and patience. It’s a balancing act to ensure that the learning points really do get captured in an understandable, actionable format, without wounding. That way, incoming feedback can be embraced with thanks; seen not as a criticism, but as a precious gift. Because even if you disagree, or know outright that your efforts and outputs have been misunderstood, the fact that someone holds a certain opinion or perspective on your work, is in itself a lesson that you need to consider articulating things differently for that person.

The most successful transformation projects I’ve seen and been involved with, have been delivered by teams who know how to give and receive feedback in constructive ways. The Goldilocks superposition of ”not too soft, not too hard, but just right”. And not a one-size-fits-all approach, but tailored to the needs and preferences of the recipient.

So how do you get to that point? 

I’ve always believed that the advice to never mix business with pleasure was nonsense. “We don’t have to be friends, we just need to be able to work together!” Well, that may be true - you might not need to be pals outside of work - but you’re going to succeed much more readily as a team and as an individual if you find some personal appreciation, common ground and respect for your colleagues. When everyone takes a stance of “this is my preferred communication style; you come to me” then we’re left with a big gaping hole into which productivity spills. When you genuinely care about people on an emotional level, you are more likely to give and receive feedback in a way that is far more effective.

Sadly, social media has created a precedent for some jagged and inconsistent boundaries, through the easy dismissal of those with whom we don’t vibe.

Unfollow. Unfriend. Report. Block. Cancel.

The sense of power is addictive for some. Snap your fingers like Thanos wearing the infinity gauntlet, and they’re gone.

Now, I totally agree with all the memes that say “let go the toxic people who don’t enrich your life”, but there’s some serious artistic license being taken as to what constitutes toxicity, and a lot of shortsightedness as to what constitutes enrichment. In the workplace, unless you’re the boss and are willing to rehire every 5 minutes, you don’t have the luxury of just shutting people off or out if you need to collaborate with them to get the job done.

Get to know people. Let them get to know you. You’ll get to know yourself better. It’ll be easier to get to know other people, and for other people to get to know you. You’ll become someone people want to get to know. You’ll work together more effectively, and when you need to share feedback, it’ll be easier to give, and easier to receive.

It’s an investment you won’t regret.

In summary

As with so many things in life, it’s not what you do, but the way that you do it. A feedback process is one thing, but the act of giving and receiving meaningful feedback is a skill to be honed. Otherwise it’s just a box-ticking exercise.